SCOTTeVEST Founder Scott Jordan Awards Self Trophy at Private Ceremony in Own Living Room

SCOTTeVEST Founder and CEO Scott Jordan forced his wife, poodles and cleaning lady to sit quietly on the couch while he presented himself with a Trophy for Awesomeness on Wednesday morning. Inscribed at the base of the 4 foot tall jewel-encrusted cup read simply 'You're #1'.

After a 45 minute acceptance speech thanking and congratulating himself, Jordan slid down a fireman's pole directly into the seat of his 3-wheeled Pocketmobile and drove through town screaming "I'm Pocketman, Bitchez!! Fuck yeeaahh!!".

Jordan was soon stopped by Ketchum police and cited for violating the town's 'Public Buffoonery' ordinance.

UPDATE: The Marten Stuffer was able to obtain a copy of the police radio transcript through a Freedom of Information Act request detailing the entire incident:

Officer- 7mary3 to dispatch, there's some dipshit in a fancy go cart doing burnouts and screaming obscenities at the intersection of Sun Valley and Main.

Dispatch- What a fuckin' asshole

Officer- Big time. Praying he gives me a reason to night stick him real good.

Dispatch- (laughing) Have fun 7mary3